Sunday, July 25, 2010
LETTER FROM JACOB
Don’t open it, I WAS PLEADING WITH MYSELF. Don’t open it, it doesn’t belong to you. You can’t be one of those Mothers! Don’t open it!
I closed the front door to our beautiful, isolated cottage to sit down, taking the letter with me. Physically I didn’t need to sit down, I could stand in the same position for days if I wished – forever even; but emotionally…I felt like I was about to faint. The letter I was grasping was from Jacob, it reeked of his dog-like smell and I could recognise the handwriting; but it wasn’t addressed to me - Renesmee. Reading her name really did cut like a knife – or more like Vampire teeth piercing my metallic skin as a knife would no longer have any effect on me in that way. I stared blankly at the letter, as my mind re-traced the past – how could six years have gone so fast? It seems like only yesterday that I was holding her for the first time, staring into those beautiful yet strangely mature brown eyes. Carlisle said it would be like this, that she was subjected to an unnaturally fast development through her early stages in life – peaking out to a frozen age like the rest of us after only six and a half years. Had time really gone so fast - I guess changes would be harder to notice during the latter stages of her growth. But, I was prepared for this part. I new she was developing fast, and besides, being a Vampire meant that time became more of a blur – after all, forever is more than just a long-time. No, Nessie growing up I could handle; Nessie’s destined romance with my best friend Jacob – now that was something else. I new this was going to happen, but, this part of it I really wasn’t prepared for. Jacob’s imprint on Nessie from his first glimpse of her didn’t mean love in a romantic sense, it wasn’t like that! Jacob looked after Nessie and took care of her like a big-brother would; he was her friend. I new it would happen eventually, that’s what imprinting meant; but I wasn’t prepared for it – not now. I starred at the letter, trying to somehow force my way into being able to look beyond the barrier of the white envelope.
“Your talent really is a pain sometimes, if only I could read your mind all the time – I guess it does make you more entertaining to observe.”
I snapped out of my concentrated state. Edward was casually standing in the adjacent archway. “How long have you been standing there?” I asked, trying to mask the startled tone to my voice.
“About fifteen minutes,” there was clear amusement in his voice, “you haven’t moved a muscle – are you going to open it? Who is it from?”
I stood up, blushing – not that this would have shown on my face – and placed the letter on the table by the front door. “Its from Jacob….for Renesmee – ”
I really made an attempt to hide my feelings from him. I didn’t want to seem so protective for our daughter; I should have been more prepared for this. I tried to change the subject, “we better get going, Alice will be waiting.”
Just as I’d turned around to face him, expecting him to be about three metres away from me I felt his no-longer cold hands guide my shoulders to face him. Edwards face was close to mine, staring into my eyes trying to read my thoughts, he asked in his discerning tone “`Bella, what’s wrong?”
I looked back into his eyes, I felt overwhelmed with emotions but tried not to express this – I gave in, like always; “its from Jacob, and its been – “
Before I had the chance to even begin explaining my feelings to Edward the front door swung open lighting his diamond skin, which still filled me with awe, and a familiar high-pitched voice spoke through, “come on you two!”
It was Alice. The three of us were going hunting today as Nessie had insisted on Emmit and Jasper taking her deep-sea “fishing” for Orca – she was fascinated by the creatures and had been begging someone to take her to see one in real life for days now! I preferred not to see my daughter wrestling with new and larger species to hunt, despite the need not to worry at all – I use to do the same with Jacob. Jacob - his name made the temporary distraction from my earlier feelings come flooding back in all at once. “Come on, we don’t have all day,” Alice’s chime broke my thoughts again. “Nessie will be back soon and I have to make sure she wears the outfit I’ve picked for her today.”
“Always so impatient,” Edward replied in a somewhat tiresome tone. Alice just chuckled.
As we began out the door to go and hunt with Alice I felt Edwards’s hand on my shoulder, and he whispered into my ear, “tell me what’s on your mind when we’re back. We’ll go to the meadow to talk. I love you,” and he kissed my check softly.
Alice threw an arm around each of us, “Good morning you two!” She was always so cheerful. I couldn’t help but smile.
We weren’t running for too long when we reached a point that we often Hunted from, right on the Canadian boarder. We split up as usual. I wasn’t thirsty, despite the fading gold from my eyes, so I strayed from my usual choice of Mountain Lion making a complete mess of things with a large Bear as I used the opportunity to vent some of my frustration. My ears were so much sharper compared to when I was human, and I could hear its deep breathing, its heavy heart beat from miles away. It was asleep inside its cave. The bear couldn’t hear me as I entered its cave and I jumped on the bears back sinking my teeth into its warm flesh, tasting it sweet yet never fully satisfying blood. It roared with pain as it woke up in shock and pain from its deep sleep. As he got to its feet I slide off its back ending with a back flip so that we were facing each other with about a metres gap between us. The bear lunged at me, but my reaction was too quick – it was as if the bear was moving in slow motion. I crouched slightly, dodging its attempt to grab me and then kicked my leg up into its chest, which resulted in the bear flying into the opposite wall of the cave. A final breath, a slowing heart beat. The bear was dead. I noticed a large crack in the wall of the cave just above the slumped bears body. I smiled to myself – my own strength was surprisingly satisfying when I needed to vent any frustration.
Edward was waiting for me at our meeting point, “where’s Alice?” I said.
“She went home. I told her you needed to talk about something, and she is excited about seeing Renesmee.”
I considered this for a second, why would Alice be excited to see Renesmee? She sees her everyday –
Edward grabbed my hand, and with his other hand lightly under my chin he lifted my head so that I was looking up at him – he kissed me. When kissing Edward all my thoughts instantly slipped away, and I became the light-headed, clumsy human girl again. I gave in to this effect he had over me, and kissed him back whilst running my fingers through his hair. We could continue for all of eternity, but Edward broke the moment.
“Lets go,” he mumbled.
We ran hand in hand to our Meadow.
When we got to our place we lay down side by side; Edward took my hand and effortlessly I pushed the walls of my mind out to encapsulate the two of us. I didn’t need to talk in a normal or physical sense anymore; Edward could read my mind now as I had learnt to control my natural barriers, letting him in whenever I wanted. This had taken us about three months to perfect once we’d realised it was possible, we would practice each night for hours as we had guaranteed alone time whilst Renesmee slept.
I let my feelings about the Jacob and Renesmee bubble to the surface of my mind – I remembered images of the letter from Jacob, addressed to her. I thought about how this was a first in their relationship which I was sure would indicate a new level to it. I dwelled upon the idea of time, and how whilst we were immortal, certain aspects of our lives were not, and never would be. I dwelled on the idea, or really the fact that Renesmee was barely six years old in human years.
I felt Edward’s hand squeeze mine. I knew that he understood what I was feeling, and I guessed that he probably felt the same – he squeezed my hand again, so I knew that thought was right. We lay in the grass for at least an hour, and I dwelled on all my thoughts, anything and everything, whatever came to mind letting them blur together at the surface of my mind. This was the best part of my gift, being able to just express all my thoughts into Edwards mind. Not having to focus on one thing at a time in order to express through words my feelings.
Edward sat up, I followed suite. “Lets just take one thing at a time” Edward said, his voice clam and velvety.
I smiled back at him. I still didn’t like the idea of Jacob and Renesmee’s relationship becoming romantic, but it did feel good to know that I wasn’t alone. Edward was my hero, and with him I felt like I could do anything. “I love you,” I said.
“I love you too, my beautiful Bella”
“Lets go home, Renesmee is dying to see you. She loved her fishing trip and is dying to tell you about it”
© Copyright to Jonathan Cameron 2010